Prisoner
by McDiggin'It
Summary: Tsunade was fed up with Kakashi's utter bullshit about getting lost on the road of life and all that nonsense. So as punishment, she ties him to one of the chairs in her office every morning, for one whole week. This way, he won't have any excuses for being late when she needs him for missions. But What happens when things get out of hand?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Prisoner

Pairing: Tsunade/Kakashi

Summary: Lady Tsunade was fed up with Kakashi's utter bullshit about getting lost on the road of life and all that nonsense. So as punishment, she ties him to one of the chairs in her office every morning, for one whole week. This way, he won't have any excuses for being late.

Author's Note: So this is my first ever Naruto fanfic. Not sure if it's good, but I did my best. The pairing is KakaTsu… I don't give a crap what people say about this pairing being weird and awkward and just wrong. I'll write whatever I want. Lol! But if you like this, then you should leave a review, right? Please? Thank you! Reviews mean speedier updates and more stories on this particular pairing. I just fell in love with this pairing after stumbling across a few of their stories. There aren't much of them out there. I don't get why. *shrugs* But anyway, R&R!

* * *

Chapter One:

* * *

…

"You called for me, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asks curiously, his typical bored expression evident in his unconcealed eye.

Tsunade's nose flares as she glares daggers into the silver-haired ninja. "Yes, I _did_… ABOUT SIX HOURS AGO!" She shrieks, startling the silver-haired ninja.

He's quick to recover, trying his best to sound as remorseful as he can manage without seeming worried. "Forgive me, Hokage-sama… you see, I had gotten lost on the road of li—,"

"Cut the crap, Hatake!" Tsunade snaps angrily at him. "I've had enough of your pathetic excuses. Because of your lack of punctuality, I had to send off Sakura and Ino on a mission that will surely end badly!"

"Uhhh, and why would it end badly?" Kakashi questions curiously.

"Have you paid any attention to those two?! They spend majority of their time fighting with each other! It's a miracle they haven't killed each other yet!"

He's confused to say the least. _What does any of this have to do with me? _"I don't understand, Lady Hokage. I—,"

"Of course you don't!" Tsunade cuts him off sharply. "You _don't _understand a thing because you're _never_ here on time!"

"Forgive me again, Hokage. Allow me to track down Sakura and Ino. It won't take long before I find them, and I'll make sure to return them back safely after they've completed their mission."

"Forget it!" Tsunade shrieks. "Your offer would've been convenient had you been here two hours ago! I've already sent Yamato after them to make sure they return safely to the village."

"Oh… Well, in that case, I suppose I'm no longer needed here, so I'm just going to—,"

"Oh no you don't, Kakashi!" Tsunade cuts him off again, springing from behind her desk, leaning forward and grabbing him by the collar of his vest. "You, are_ not_ going anywhere for the rest of the day."

His unhidden eye widens momentarily. "Uhh, did you have another mission for me?"

"Yes." Tsunade replies shrewdly. Before he knows it, she's pulling out a long rope from her desk and wrapping it around him, making sure to tighten the holds of it.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?!" Tsunade snaps at him, tying the knots carefully. When she's done, she pushes him down on to the chair in front of her desk, smiling brazenly at him and enjoying the image of a squirming, out-of-character Kakashi. She walks back to her desk, calmly taking her seat. "You, Kakashi Hatake, will sit in my office, and wait for the moment when I need you for a mission."

_Gulp. 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me!'_

* * *

…

_Six Hours Later:_

* * *

…

"Lady Hokage?" Kakashi interrupts for the sixth time in the past minute, further irritating the blonde Hokage.

"What now, Kakashi?!"

"Uhhh, forgive me for interrupting your precious time, but… you see, I—I was wondering if maybe I could take a break?"

Tsunade quirks an eyebrow at him, "A break?"

"It's urgent." He answers sheepishly as a small blush creeps up his neck. Thankfully, his mask keeps it hidden. He glances down at the seam of his pants, pointedly looking at the Hokage, and hoping she gets the message. He really needs to take a leak. Like, really _really_ badly.

Tsunade instantly understands, but her expression purposely remains confused. "I'm not sure I know what you're asking, Hatake." _I do know, actually._

_God, she's evil! She's really going to make me say it?! _"Uhh, you know?" he nods again at his crotch. "I have to…" he purposely trails off, not wanting to say it.

_If he's not saying it, I'm not helping him. _Tsunade inwardly smirks, "You have to what, Kakashi? I don't understand what it is that you want?"

Again, he nods at his crotch, making Tsunade roll her eyes. _You wanna play that game? Fine. _"Your pants are too tight?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Too loose?"

"Not really, no."

"Are you… itching in a certain area?"

Kakashi's eye widen, but he shakes his head. "No, Hokage-sama."

"You wish to quell an urge for sexual pleasures?"

"What?! No!" Kakashi quickly defends. "I—I have to take a leak!"

Tsunade grins triumphantly. "Why didn't you just say so? That's all you had to say, Kakashi."

He glares at her, but she doesn't seem to notice as she gets up from her seat. "You already knew."

"Knew what? I don't know what you're talking about." Tsunade shrugs. She walks over to Kakashi, grinning widely at him. "You should consider yourself lucky." With that, she turns, picking up a trash bin from the side of her desk and placing it on the only vacant area on Kakashi's chair, between his legs.

"What is this?" Kakashi asks incredulously.

Tsunade raises an eyebrow at him. "It's a trash bin. Use it."

"For what?!"

Tsunade shrugs, "Use your brain, Kakashi."

He stares at her, absolutely livid, and frustrated, and close to wetting his pants. He's desperate and sweating, needing to release the excess water in his body. "Lady Hokage, please." He pleads desperately.

"Please what, Kakashi?" Tsunade asks teasingly, her back to him as she pretends to read a report on her desk.

"I uhhh, I can't—I mean my hands are tied… I can't reach my pants zipper." He looks away in embarrassment.

Tsunade resists the urge to give a winning smile. She loves this feeling of dominance and victory over the great copy-ninja of Konoha. She turns, giving him a questioning look. "And what do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, you could start by untying my hands."

She rolls her eyes at him. "And how do I know you won't run away the moment I untie you?"

"I won't." Kakashi promises. "You have my word."

She rolls her eyes again at that comment. "You also gave your word to the village that you would be a responsible and respectful shinobi… and you have yet to prove that you've kept your word. You're always showing up late, sometimes you don't show up at all, you're disrespectful in that aspect, you always disobey my direct orders, and you're the lousiest liar I've ever met… So tell me. Why should I believe that you won't run when I untie you?"

"Uhhh, you don't have to… not unless you want this particular chair I'm sitting on to reek of piss for the next month."

Tsunade snorts, leaning forward and resting her hands on either side of Kakashi's head on the chair. "I can easily replace a chair, Kakashi."

He's sweat dropping, barely able to keep his impending release of liquid waste at bay. "Please." He begs, his eyes innocent and pleading. "Can you at least unzip it for me?"

Tsunade makes a split second decision and finally decides on letting him pass this once. She slides her hand down to his crotch, stilling her fingers over the zipper of his pants for a moment, before she finally takes a hold of the zipper and pulling it down slowly. Daintily. Painfully slow, to the point where it seemed like she was about to undress him, rather than just unzip his pants so he can take a fucking piss. When she's done, she can't help it. It's completely natural for her to take a peek, right? She's human afterall. And any woman with a heartbeat would have to be blind, or downright insane to not, at the very least, be curious about what the handsome, muscular, infamous copy-ninja was working with. It's a quick glance, but she sees only a sliver of skin. _Just _skin. No hair. _Who knew Kakashi was one to… manscape?_ She tears her eyes away, clearing her throat as she turns around and walks back to her desk. She keeps her back to him, listening carefully to the sounds so she can try to visualize what exactly he's doing.

She can hear him wiggling in his chair, probably trying to pop out his manhood, and then get it to aim inside the trash bin. She bites her lip, trying hard not to picture what he looks like right now. And he's only right behind her! She could just turn and—no! I'm the fucking Hokage! I can't!... But you're the fucking Hokage! You can do whatever the fuck you want!... No! I shouldn't. It's wrong. That's technically rape. But—

The sound of liquid running into metal meets her ears, and she almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of the moment. This was wrong in _so_ many ways. And in some twisted, stupid, idiotic way, Kakashi was getting something out of this. He gets to urinate inside her office, which would've been quite offensive, had she not been the one to make him do it.

"Uh, Lady Hokage?"

Kakashi's voice pulls her from her thoughts, and she's half thankful for that. "Yes?" her voice shakes just the tiniest bit, and she mentally kicks herself for it.

"I—I can't… I mean. I can't put it back inside my pants."

Her face flushes red and she looks down at her desk. _Goddammit! Why the hell did I think it'd be a good idea to tease him like this?! Now I'M the one who's getting tortured!_ Clearing her throat, she turns around, looking right at his face(mask and all), careful not to let her eyes stray to his lap. But really, it's no use because from her peripherals, she's really _really _looking. And from what her peripherals can catch, he's quite long… and thick. And _Dear god, he's half my age! What the fuck am I thinking? _She walks up to him, keeping her eyes trained on his face.

He's inwardly burning with embarrassment. He has never been more humiliated in all of his life. He wouldn't have said anything after releasing the wrath of his bladder inside the trash bin, but he's not exactly keen on sitting there for the rest of the day, with his junk hanging out and about. So now, he's trying not to squirm as Tsunade walks over to him, leaning down towards him, her eyes piercing into his unveiled one. For a moment, he thinks she's going to grab his junk and push it back into his pants, and he finds himself sweating, and breathing heavily at the thought. And you really can't blame him for the way he feels his manhood twitch at the thought. He's a hot-blooded male with eyes. Any man with eyes would have to be dumb, or gay to _not_ notice the attractiveness of the fifth Hokage. And he's not dumb, nor is he gay.

From her peripherals, she sees all. She resists the urge to smirk at the hint of reaction that she gets from the silver haired ninja. He's nervous, she can tell. And because she's a stubborn bitch, she wasn't about to let that triumph die just yet. She takes the trash bin from between his legs, setting it down by the chair. She slowly leans closer to him, her face an inch away from his masked one, and she lets herself grin, finally showing her true expression of victory to him. His eye widens, and she chuckles softly, letting her voice drop to a whisper as she moves her head beside his, her lips a mere centimeter away from his ear. "You need help with that?" His breath catches at the back of his throat and her grin widens.

His head moves away from her, his eye widening further as he stares up at her. _There is something definitely wrong with this woman!_ . "I—Uhh, you—,"

A knock at the door interrupts, and Kakashi jumps in his seat as Tsunade straightens back up.

Shizune's voice floats from the opposite side of the door, "Hokage-sama, Ino and Sakura have returned from their mission. Should I send them in?"

"Give me a moment." Tsunade calls, and a moment later, Shizune calls a simple 'Hai' before silence overtakes yet again.

"Please just untie me." Kakashi pleads desperately.

Tsunade snorts, "Not happening, Hatake." She walks back to her desk, opening a drawer and pulling out something that Kakashi can't really see.

"Ino and Sakura will surely think something weird is going on if they come in to find me tied up and with my… Uhh, you know?" he nods towards his junk lying against his thigh. "out of my pants."

"That's not going to be a problem."

"Why not?!"

"Because you're not going to be out here when they come in."

His eyes light up in relief. "You're gonna let me go?"

Tsunade blinks at him. "Where did you get _that?" _

"Uhhh—,"

"You're hiding in the closet." Tsunade cuts him off, pointing to the closet on the far left side of her office.

"But—," He doesn't get to finish protesting because suddenly, Tsunade's hand pulls down his mask, and in one swift motion, she slaps a slab of tape over his mouth before pulling his mask back up to cover his face. He squirms, letting out a muffled scream.

"MMMMMPHHHH!"

"Shut it, Hatake. If you disrupt my meeting with Ino and Sakura, I'll make sure that you never come out of that closet, got it?!"

He can only nod. What other option does he have? She drags him out of his chair (junk still out) and pushes him towards the closet door, and then shoving him inside.

"MMPH!"

She points at him, glaring daggers at him with her eyes. "Quiet!" she whispers furiously. With that, she takes a step back, and closes the closet doors tightly, leaving him in total darkness.

He listens to the soft thuds of Tsunade's footsteps drawing away from the closet and towards the door. "Shizune, send them in."

"Hai."

Kakashi slides down to the floor, leaning his head back and closing his normal eye. _This is officially, the worst day of my life._

* * *

…

Author's Note: Hello! Well, this concludes chapter one, but I'll try to update as soon as I can. Please leave a review! Chapter Two will be up soon!

-McDiggin'It


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Prisoner

Disclaimer: (Forgot to add this in chapter one)- I don't own jackshit. Just this story.

Author's Note: Hello, all! Well, this is chapter two, and I hope you all like it. I'm not sure about it, but I think it's better than chapter one. But I'll let you all be the judge of that. So thank you all for reading, and please leave a review!

-McDiggin'It

* * *

Chapter Two:

* * *

…

"How was it?" Tsunade questions as soon as Sakura and Ino enter the room.

"It was difficult, but we managed to retrieve the supplies you wanted, Hokage-sama." Sakura reports with a respectful gaze.

Kakashi strains to hear the conversation going on outside, but it's kind of hard to do when there's a good 5 inches of wood separating him from civilization.

"Excellent…" Tsunade trails off as a thought comes to mind. "Where's Yamato?"

There's a pause, followed by an exchange of guilty looks between Ino and Sakura.

Ino takes the cue, "He's in the hospital."

Tsunade raises an amused brow, leaning forward. "What happened?" she asks curiously.

Another exchange of guilty glances. "One of the supplies exploded, but he's fine. He just needs a couple of stitches on his arm… It's our fault—," Ino adds, but Sakura cuts her off with a glare.

"_Our_ fault? If you hadn't been stubborn and just listened to me about how to handle the supplies, Yamato-sensei would be standing right here! This is completely _your _fault!"

"_My_ fault? You're the one who knew what was going to happen if I didn't handle the supplies correctly, yet you waited at the last minute to warn me!"

"And this is my fault, how?! You're supposed to know this stuff already, Ino-pig!"

"No I don't, billboard forehead! You….."

Tsunade sighs heavily, tuning out the two girls for a moment as she leans back in her seat and rubs her temples with her middle and fore fingers. Her eyes trail from where the young ninjas are currently having a verbal war, over to the closet where she had hidden Kakashi. "Girls—,"

"Shut it, Pig!" Sakura screeches.

"Sakura—,"

"_You_ shut it, forehead!" Ino screams towards the pink-haired medic.

"Ino, do—,"

"This is_ your_ fault!"

"Sakura—,"

"How is this _my_ fault?!"

"Ino—,"

"No! It's entirely_ your_ fault you stubborn idiot!"

Tsunade takes one deep breath, slowly getting to her feet. Her left hand curls into a fist and with one swift motion, she raises it, bringing it down on her desk as hard as she can. "BOTH OF YOU SHUT IT!" She shrieks. The sound of her anger, coupled with the cracking wood of her desk stops the two girls, and they both close their mouths as they turn their attentions back to the Hokage. They mutter their 'Sorry' and both look at their feet in shame.

"Thank you." Tsunade sighs in relief. "I don't blame_ either_ of you."

Ino and Sakura exchange confused looks at that. "You don't?" they ask in unison.

Tsunade shakes her head. "Of course not… I blame Kakashi Hatake."

Kakashi perks up at the mention of his name.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura ask confusedly. "What does this have to do with him?"

Kakashi wanted to exclaim his agreement with his former student, but he can't really move. _Thank you, Sakura, you brilliant youngling! What DOES any of this have to do with me?_

Tsunade nods towards the pink-haired medic in confirmation. "He was supposed to be assigned to lead the mission, but time was of the essence and our hospital really needs those medical supplies, so I had to send you two out_ alone_. If anything, Kakashi is the one who deserves to be punished for this unfortunate turn of events."

_Haven't I been punished enough?! _Kakashi wanted to scream. _I've been tied to a chair, forced to sit there for six goddamned hours, and unwillingly forced to embarrass myself by taking a fucking piss in a trash bin while sitting down! That was NOT an easy task! _

"Where _is _Kakashi?" Ino inquires. "I don't think I've seen him all day. Even before we left the village."

Kakashi saw this as his opportunity. If he could just get the doors to open. All he needs is to get out the door so Sakura and Ino can see him, and the Hokage would have no choice but to let him go. With as much force as he can manage in his situation, he rams his shoulder towards the closet doors, causing a loud enough thud to shatter the momentary silence outside.

All three females turn their attention towards the far left of the room when the closet door rattles on its hinges.

Kakashi groans as he slouches further down the closet door. That had not gone the way he thought it would. Apparently, the Hokage had done more than just close the door. She had locked it securely, making sure that he wouldn't get out.

"What was_ that_?" Sakura asks curiously as she and Ino stare at the closet.

The Hokage is quick to recover from her temporary blackout of anger at the silver haired ninja for completely disobeying her orders of being quiet. "Oh, that's just Tonton."

Ino and Sakura both give her skeptical looks, but do not question why Tonton is in the closet. However, Tsunade could almost feel their doubts coming off of them in waves, so she adds quickly, "She's having her first real argument with Shizune. They're not in speaking terms." She shrugs for good measure.

Ino and Sakura nod simultaneously, though they both had no clue as to what the Hokage was talking about. Ino decides to steer the topic away, not wanting to upset the Hokage. If she's blaming Kakashi-sensei already for what happened during the mission, then why not further embed that thought in the Hokage's mind? "So, is Kakashi on another mission?"

Tsunade shakes her head. "No… He hasn't shown up all day."

"Oh." Sakura cuts in. "He's probably down at the training grounds. He's always there, reading his books."

Tsunade nods, "Yes, I believe those books are the cause of his constant tardiness."

Ino snorts, "We ought to get rid of those… he'd surely go ballistic after that, but he'll certainly arrive a little earlier than usual when he's summoned."

Tsunade stares at Ino, her mind working a thousand miles per second. Slowly, a smile widens on her face. "Thank you, girls… You've done amazingly well today. Now if you'd excuse me, I have some important matters to attend to."

Sakura and Ino nod their respectful goodbyes and quickly exit the room.

Tsunade stares at the door for another minute longer before her eyes dart towards the closet. _Ino, you brilliant girl!_

* * *

…

It's like seeing heaven when the doors swing open. His unconcealed eye blinks rapidly up at the Hokage, standing over him with an amused look, and a wicked grin dancing on her face. _That is NOT a good sign. _

"How are you, Kakashi?" she asks teasingly. His legs are crossed, and he's lying on his side so his thigh is currently blocking his penis from her view, and for that, she's thankful. The last thing she needs is the sight of his johnny, planting inappropriate thoughts in her head while she's on a mission to make sure her message gets through to him: _Stop making up bullshit about why you were late when you were clearly reading porn during the time you could've been on your way here!_ If you think about it (unscientifically, of course) this whole tying-up-and-making-him-stay-in-place-for-the-whole-day thing is like his own personal tardy convention. It's _really_ for his own good.

He doesn't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking that he's lost all hope for living, so he rolls his unveiled eye at her and slowly sits up. "Mmmph mmmphmmph mmph." (I'm doing awesome).

Tsunade snorts, stooping down and keeping her eyes trained on his eye. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Mmmmph mmphh!" (Fuck you!). For once, he's actually thankful that his mouth is taped shut. Because it feels_ really_ good to kind-of-sort-of swear at the Fifth Hokage.

She grabs him by the vest and pulls him up on his feet. Biting down her excitement, she lets her hand drift towards his thigh, and she lets it rest there for a moment, her eyes still staring into his visible one.

His eye bulges when he feels it, the light brush of her fingers over his length, before each finger wraps entirely over his junk. _You still can't blame me! I'm human, goddamit! _He feels himself beginning to harden and he takes a tentative step back; but then her fingers tighten around him and he stops abruptly as a current of pleasure surges through his veins. Not wanting to permit any more discreditable pleasure over his already degraded self, he looks away, holds his breath, and pulls up a false mental image of Naruto and Sasuke doing the dirty, but… _Seriously! She's killing me!_

As quickly as she had tightened her grip on him, she loosens her grip a little, not wanting to torture herself further by not being able to do anything remotely close to the thoughts running amok inside her head. She would've been salivating had she not clenched her jaw when she felt her lower abdomen tighten at the thought of the many things they could do with his… _Goddammit, what the hell am I thinking?! _She shoves his erection back into his pants and quickly zips it before she does something she's not supposed to be doing. Taking a step back, she breathes in deeply and closes her eyes for a moment, trying to regain some of her composure. When she looks at him, he's staring at her.

"Mmph mmphh." He's trying his best to think away the tent forming in his pants, but it's pointless. When she's standing there, looking all kinds of blonde-hotness and sexy, her robe practically doing nothing to conceal her perfect physique and the magnitude of her breasts. _Ultimate mind-fucking test! Goddamn this woman and her goddamn suggestive body._

"What?"

He nods his head, his eyes trying to look at his mask. She quickly gets the message and she pulls his mask down, slowly taking the tape off his mouth.

He takes a moment, wetting his lips with his tongue.

She hadn't had much time to observe his face earlier because she was in a hurry to shut him up, but now that she's actually looking at his face, she's almost surprised. Of course, she had seen his face before when she had to tend to his injuries after a particularly harsh mission he was assigned to, but she didn't really have the time to admire his face then. Now, she had all the time in the world to take in his handsome features. The defined, muscular line of his jaw, the curve of his nose, and his thin, yet full-without-being-feminine lips. _He's fucking gorgeous! Like, what god had he somehow saved from imminent doom to be blessed with those looks? _She doesn't understand why he'd cover his face. _He'd probably have women falling at his feet had he used his brain for once and took that stupid mask off! _But then again, the mask truly adds to the mysteriousness and appeal of him. He certainly has the perfect body, so she supposes that the mask just adds to the interest of the female population, keeping them wanting and yearning to be the lucky ones to see his face. _Lucky me._

"Thanks." He mutters softly.

She nods, "Your welcome… But this doesn't mean you're off the hook just yet."

"Oh come on, Hokage-sama." He whines. "Haven't I suffered enough?"

She blinks at him like he's just suggested that they strip down to the nude and go for a walk around the village. "Barely." She replies. "I still haven't found a mission for you."

"I'll show up when you send for me."

She snorts, rolling her eyes at him. "So you can show up late yet again and say something along the lines of 'I got lost on the road of life', or 'I saw a black cat and blah blah blah'?... No." she says sternly.

Kakashi huffs loudly. "Fine. What am I supposed to do then?"

Tsunade smirks, "Show up tomorrow morning at 8:30… Don't be late, or I will hunt you down, drag you up here, undress you, tie you up again, and hang you upside down from the ceiling."

Kakashi swallows hard, nodding his head. "I'll be here."

"I'll believe that when it happens." Tsunade retorts. "I'm going to cut you loose now, but so help me God, if you are late again tomorrow, I will not hesitate to strangle you, Kakashi."

Kakashi lets out a relieved sigh when Tsunade cuts him free. He flexes his fingers and arms, trying to loosen up his tight muscles, grinning as he does so. He has absolutely _no_ intention of returning tomorrow morning. Come hell or high water, he'll be out of the village before the sun even wakes up. He takes a step towards the door, ready to bolt, but then he's stopped by the Hokage calling his name. He doesn't know why, but the way she calls his name makes him shiver. When he turns, he sees her smirk at him.

"Just in case you don't show up tomorrow morning, I'll be holding on to this." She raises her right hand up, holding an orange-covered book in between her thumb and other fingers.

His eyes widen into saucers as his hands immediately dart to the pocket of his vest, to check for his beloved copy of Icha Icha Paradise… His fingers come against the emptiness of his pockets, and his brain all but jumps into overdrive. His frustrations shooting up through the sky and torpedoes back down, penetrating the gates of hell. "That's not necessary, Tsunade-sama." He begins cautiously, carefully- not wanting to upset the Hokage in any way in case she tears his precious Icha Icha Paradise book to shreds. It's the last copy he has left.

"You won't be getting it back until the end of the week." Tsunade smirks, knowing that she has him now. "See you tomorrow?"

He could only nod. _This means war._

_..._

* * *

…

"You're late!" she screeches the moment he walks into her office. He immediately backpedals, but he doesn't get very far before she's flying across her office and jerking him towards her by the hair.

"OW! Fuck, do you have to aim for the hair?"

"Would you rather I aim for your balls?!"

His squirming stops immediately as he gives her a fearful glance, not doubting that the Hokage would really yank his chain, so to speak. "No, the hair is fine. Carry on, Tsunade-sama." He had been prepared for the beating. Anything to annoy her. He knows his beloved book is at risk, but as long as he shows up, his book is safe. He can take any beating, so long as his book is safe.

She does carry on with the yanking of his hair, pulling him towards the same chair he had been occupying the day before. "Sit!" she snaps at him, pushing him down onto the chair. "Now explain why you're late _again_!" she snaps at him as she finally lets go of his hair.

He swallows hard as his hands fly up to his head, massaging his scalp while trying to come up with a better excuse than 'I slept in'. He _did_ sleep in. "Uhhh, well you see, I saw a black—," he's cut off by a wave of her hand.

Tsunade groans loudly, rolling her eyes at him. "Kakashi, I swear to every holy being out there, if you say you saw a black cat on your way here and had to take the long way, I will _castrate _you!" she points threateningly at him as her free hand goes to rest on her hip.

_Well shit. Now I have to find a loophole. _"It was a black kitten. Most likely the spawn of the cat I saw last week." _Ha! _

"Now the original cat has children?! Where the hell do you come up with these stories?!" she screams in fury at the fact that he actually dared to think that she would believe any of his utter bullshit.

"Uhhh, do you want me to answer those questions?" his eye alternates between staring at her and the floor. The floor suddenly seems like the better choice when the Hokage takes a couple of steps towards him.

Her eye twitches for a few moments, until… _THWACK! _Her fist connecting harshly with the top of the silver-haired ninja's head.

"OW! What the fu—," Kakashi's current action of rubbing his head is paused by the Fifth Hokage grabbing him by the collar of his vest and throwing him across the room in one swift motion.

"YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A DEAD MAN, KAKASHI HATAKE!" Tsunade shrieks as she storms over to him and pulls him up by the hair.

He protests, trying his best to pry her fingers out of his hair, but it's useless. Her fingers are nearly digging into his scalp. Luckily, he moves pretty quickly, and he anticipates the direction of her movements so he can twist and dive in the directions her hands choose to pull his hair in. She yanks as hard as he can, but his head follows her hand expertly, which barely causes any infliction of pain on him.

Tsunade huffs, and punches him in the gut, causing Kakashi to double over in pain. She pulls him back towards the seat and pushes him down onto the chair. "What do you have to say for yourself?" she inquires.

"I'm sorry." He doesn't sound sorry at all.

"Sorry?! Your sorry means shit to me right now, Kakashi!" Tsunade snaps at him, punctuating her sentence with a forceful smack on the side of his head.

"OW! Do you have to be so violent?... Forgive me, Hokage-sama, but I_ really_ think you need some anger-management help—,"

_THWACK! _

Kakashi groans out loud as he holds a soothing hand over his unveiled eye where the Hokage had just smacked him. "Holy fucking cows and horses!" he curses colorfully, bending over and pressing his palm against his eye. He had been punched in the eye before. Hell, he had been whacked in the eye with a two by four! But_ never_ in his life, had he been _slapped_ in the eye. Yes, she _slapped_ him_ in_ the eye. And though punches hurt when directed towards the eye, Tsunade's slap to his eye made him see stars. "What the fuck, woman?!" he questions exasperatedly. "Are you insane?!"

If looks could kill, Hatake Kakashi would have been dead, ten thousand times over. "Yes," she begins in false sweetness. "I am insane."

"Well that explains a lot." Kakashi mutters under his breath, but the Hokage hears him perfectly clear.

_SMACK! _Her hand is quick to retreat from the other side of his head.

"GODDAMMIT!" Kakashi yelps, jumping up out of his seat, only to be pushed back down by a freakishly strong Tsunade.

"Sit. The fuck. Down!" she growls, leaning down so she's face to face with him.

Kakashi decides to do what he forgot to do yesterday, and tunes her out… _Aaaaaand, perfect_. He inwardly grins, watching her lips moving in high speed, her fingers pointing to and away from him several times, her eyes glaring holes into his face, her nostrils flaring inhumanely, her hair spilling down the sides of her face, and her… large, beautiful, golden globes of glory, jiggling with her every movement. It's fucking hot, and he feels himself hardening at the thought of just leaning forward a couple of inches and just laying one on her. Of course, he'd probably end up in a coma later on when she rains her wrath upon him, but he almost thinks it would be worth it. To shut the Hokage up in the most unpredictable way, is quite simply, a glorious victory.

With that thought in mind, his hand shoots up to the corner of his mask, and with one swift motion, he pulls it down, leans forward, and presses his lips flat against the Hokage's.

_BINGO! _He smirks against her lips, enjoying the silence, and yes- the feel of her soft, full lips. He only holds the kiss for about five seconds, before he pulls away and steels himself for what was to come.

Tsunade blinks up at him, her eyes still wide, jaw slackened, heart beating wildly inside her chest, and skin prickling with goosebumps… and then he smiles.

Kakashi curses himself, letting his smile crumble away as he pulls his mask back up to his face. Tsunade, though completely caught off guard a moment ago, is now completely aware of the situation and the grave mistake he had committed against her. Her eyebrow rises in what could only be described as a 'What-the-fuck-was-that?' look.

_Really? You practically groped me yesterday, and it's not okay for me to press my lips against yours? How is this fair?! _Kakashi raises his own eyebrow, hoping for forgiveness, but the Hokage only clenches her jaw tightly.

Damn. He might not live long enough to see his beloved book again, but at least he shut the Hokage up quite effectively before he died.

"WHAT THE…," Tsunade's thunderous voice booms through his thoughts.

_Oh, fuck me._

* * *

…

Author's Note: So I'm kind of disappointed in how this turned out. I'm not really sure what this chapter was supposed to be, but I wrote what I could. Anyway, chapter three will be out in a week or two, but I can't really guarantee it. But please leave a review. It's my motivation.

-McDiggin'It


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